With the Korean Cup International Ball Hockey tournament coming up, Al Michaels sat down with Team USA captain Matt Simpson for a few questions in the NBC fireside studio.
Al: Matt, this tournament is the Korean Cup. Why is Team USA entering it?
Matt: Well, Al, America is a part of every country. Since we've won every war in the history of the world, we've claimed territory in every country of the world. Italy, Germany, Japan, Tunisia, Venezuela, Philippines, Vietnam, Japan and of course Korea are all part of the USA. So naturally, we can enter a team the same way the other teams have. Korea has teams from Daegu, Suwon, Bucheon, Itaewon, and Haebongcheon, so just consider the US another small part of Korea.
Al: Speaking of the group you have, can you introduce us to a few of your teammates?
Matt: Sure thing - In addition to me, we have a few truly great Americans. These guys represent the real Joe six pack 'mericans, who hate those goddamn communist socialist fascists Washington fat cat libruls, including Peter DeMaio, Matt Larson, Bret Getkin and Jon Rabiroff. In keeping with the American tradition, we also have some illegal immigrants who have crossed the border from their ravaged homeland, searching for work and a better life for their families. That includes Kurt DeVries and Jordan Evans from Canada, John Giacomazzi from Italy and Tony Heikkila from Finland. Finally, we have racial diversity, being represented by all of the minorities America has to offer, including an Asian (Bob Suhr), African American (Dathan Brown) and Mexican (Kyle Lamb. Actually he's Filipino, but we can't tell the difference.)
Al: How do you think your team will perform?
Matt: We'll be underdogs no doubt. Sean McConeghy reported the odds in Macau for us to win are at 50-1. He still put down about $100 for us to win though. Going up against these teams, which are stacked with Vancouverites, Saskatooners and Torontonians, we'll be at a disadvantage. Though America excels at basketball, baseball, football, nascar, golf, tennis, soccer, and every single Olympic sport, ball hockey is simply not played in our home land. We have had to do all our training here on the Jamsil rink. Hopefully my strategy of standing around drinking Hite beer and eating cold Whoppers will prepare us to bring home the championship!
Al: There you have it…a captain who has put together a solid team with the best America has to offer and has a solid conditioning regiment put into place to ensure victory.
